


Sorry is a Sacrament

by Istra_Faemore



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Michael as Dean | Dean as Michael
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-21
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-01-20 07:09:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1501334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Istra_Faemore/pseuds/Istra_Faemore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens if the lines between Heaven, Hell and Earth aren't as clear cut as they should be? What if there was a plan in motion that would ultimately save the human race from the upcoming Apocalypse? What if it hinges on love, both brotherly and true love?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm utterly ignoring some aspects of canon here. I've yet to see season 7 upwards and I disliked some of season 6. So I'm rearranging everything so that I can still have my little Balthazar in the fic.

Michael watched the couple kissing, their gestures intimate. He sighed and turned away, blinking to clear his eyes from the vision. His wings closed around him; he didn't want to do it. He didn't, but he knew that he had to. Too much lay rested on this, on _him_ for him not to do this.

Still...

He had to leave his mates, his flock. And that tore him apart. He couldn't tell them _why_ or _where_ , and because they weren't archangels, he _couldn't_ tell them. Though they were used to that, used to his secrets. 

He hated _that_ too. But they knew the risks when they decided to take an archangel as a mate, and reassured him often. It would have been easier had he felt more than brotherly love and affection for any of the other archangels. Not easier on him, because he loved his mates with a burning passion, but easier on the mate. Lucifer and Gabriel and Raphael knew what being an archangel was like, knew the secrets and he never had to explain himself to them. 

"It's time, my son." Michael turned and saw his Father standing slightly to one side, observing His son with a soft, loving smile. 

"I know. Father, I don't want to go."

"Michael," a soft sigh and rustling of robes as his Father came closer and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I know. I know _you_ and I know why you don't want to go." A pause and his Father started again. "It is the only way to save Lucifer, to bring him redemption and to stop Gabriel from hurting."

"I'll look after them for you, brother." And that was Raphael's gentle voice, reassuring him. "I'll look after your mates while you are gone."

"And it will not be for too long, my son. You will have your Grace, you won't Fall. You just will not be able to use it."

"Until the time is right," Raphael commented, holding a vial of purple liquid. It would repress his Grace until it wore off. 

He took the proffered vial and poured it down his throat, grimacing at the taste. "Raphael, can you not make anything that tastes _nice_?" His brother merely smirked and Michael shook his head.

"Very well. Father, brother. I leave now."

With that, the Prince of Heaven turned his back on the Host and dived straight for Earth.


	2. The Dream Revelation

_You sorry sons of bitches. Why do you think you two are the vessels? Think about it. Michael, the big brother, loyal to an absent father, and Lucifer, the little brother, rebellious of Daddy's plan. You were born to this, boys. It's your destiny! It was always you! As it is in heaven, so it must be on earth. One brother has to kill the other._

_~Gabriel. Changing Channels._

Now see, the Winchesters had always fascinated Gabriel. He wasn't joking when he told them that they were born to this, that it was their destiny. They'd say yes and his brothers would have their prize fight, the world would end and what happened next would depend on who won.

He wasn't even sure he knew who he wanted to win. Michael or Lucifer. Either way, humanity was screwed. Gabriel sighed and rubbed his face with his hand. Whoever won would come after him _so_ quickly. If he was honest with himself, he was already wondering why either of them hadn't come for him. He was the Messenger; he had the Trumpet. It was his destiny to sound the Trumpet at the End of Times, to Call the Host to the Final Battle, the final war between brothers who loved and hated each other equally. 

He was, however, lying when he'd told the Winchesters he didn't care who won. He did. He hoped neither of them would win. He hoped that somehow, someone somewhere would stop the Apocalypse, that he'd just be able to live in whatever peace he could find. 

Not that he could live in peace. 

He'd noticed how self-destructive he had been getting over the recent centuries. Spiralling downwards in a haze of booze and blood and darkness. He feared that same darkness beginning to take root in his Grace. That he would Fall. It was a fear of his. He could return home. He could go to Raphael and ask him to help him. He'd offered once before, offered to break the bond between him and Lucifer when he first rebelled. Gabriel had denied, had almost tore the healery down around his brother's shoulders before he was sedated. As much as the bond caused him harm, caused him hurt, if it had been severed, he'd be empty inside. 

But it didn't matter anymore. He was almost empty now as it was. 

He thought the Winchesters might have a chance to derail this show before it started properly. They would have a better chance against Heaven and Hell if he was with them. Thought thought, he guessed that constituted as a choice and with a snap of his fingers, he spirited away to their current location. 

Interesting fact about the Winchesters: Their car stands out. The Impala. Very classy and very unique. Easily identifiable to those who knew what to look for. And he did.

It was a matter of moments to determine that Castiel was not there - not that it would matter to him either way - and to hide himself from human and angelic sight before entering the room. It was one of their usual cheesy as Hell motel rooms. Two beds, a beat up table-and-chair set. Busted sofa and TV and a door to the bathroom that didn't shut all the way. Bags and various books were strewn around the room, some opened at random pages like Wendigoes, others closed and baring titles linked to the Bible and the Apocalypse. If anyone broke into the room, they'd take the brothers as religious fanatics, and insane psychopaths that believed in the supernatural. 

The brothers themselves were wrapped in their sheets in bed. Dean tossing and turning; Sam softly snuffling into the crook of his arm. He guessed that Lucifer was leaving the younger Winchester alone for the night. 

As ever, the thought of Lucifer sent a wave of pain and cold throughout him.

He turned back to Dean and, snapping up a more comfortable chair, sank down into it to observe the elder Winchester. He was dreaming. It was obvious it was that it was a dream that was not pleasant. He debated whether to wake him up. Or to send him into another dream. 

How was it that no matter what the world threw at Dean Winchester, he remained on his path, unwavering from his beliefs. He was so damned irritating, so sure of himself. So fucking _righteous_. Which, he guessed, was right. Especially as Dean _is_ the Righteous Man. The one who started the Apocalypse. And the one who would ultimately end it. 

Or so it was written.

It seemed that Dean Winchester gave a flying fuck for what was written.

But what was it about him that drew angels. Angels as loyal as little Castiel. He had known Castiel in Heaven. Had been close to him and had spent a lot of time with the younger angel. He was one of Heaven's most loyal soldiers, to their Father and to Michael especially. What had changed, then? What had changed that had made Castiel turn against Michael for a human. What was special about Dean?

It wasn't just Castiel; it was others too. Zachariah was drawn to Dean, though he would vehemently deny it. And yet, he had put unconscious commands and feelers into religious men and women across the country all with one imperative: Search for Dean Winchester. So wrapped up in the aura that surrounded Dean. 

Dean whimpered and muttered something, drawing Gabriel's gaze once more. He waved his hand and the whimpering subsided. He sank back into his chair and sighed. He should wake him up. He should. And tell him that he's gonna join their insane crusade. 

He'd probably get shot. Or stabbed. Or deep fried in holy oil. 

And he'd probably deserve it.

Another thing that annoyed him about Dean Winchester was that his soul was still so clean. Bargaining with demons, hellfire and torture - both to him and by him - and his soul _was so damned clean_ and Gabriel's was beginning to tarnish. But then, Gabriel had had several millennia on him. 

Still it was irritating. 

Dean turned over in his sleep and muttered. Gabriel's head snapped up and his eyes widened. _No, it couldn't be true. Dean doesn't... can't speak..._

He crept forward slowly until he was crouched beside the bed, head tilted in a way that would remind the hunters of Castiel should they be watching. Once there, he gently placed a finger on Dean's forehead and slipped quietly into the dreamscape. What he saw there was enough to send him running.

He found himself in a garden, the most beautiful and lush garden he'd ever seen. It was vaguely familiar, though. As he walked through the trailing flowers, he searched for Dean and found him sat beneath a tree, a very familiar tree that resembled a willow. Gabriel stopped a fair distance away; he was vaguely certain that Dean didn't harbour any secret dreams about him and so it was best not to be seen.

So he stood, silent sentry, watching as Dean basked in the heat and light of the sun, as he just relaxed. He recognised the garden. Gabriel wanted to believe that he had inadvertently sent the hunter here when he stopped the nightmares. But he knew he didn't. Didn't. _Couldn't_ send a mortal to even dream of this place; it was _theirs_ , the archangels', and it would sear a human as much as the true form of one even as fallen as Castiel was now. 

The archangels' garden. 

He watched as Castiel and Balthazar approached him and he took them in his arms, kissing them gently before drawing them back down with him, hands roaming over their bodies. _What the fuck_? 

Castiel - he could understand Dean dreamed about Castiel. But as far as he knew, the hunter had never seen Balthazar. 

_What the fuck was going on_?

Why was Dean dreaming of--

\-- he wasn't. Dean wasn't dreaming of _being_ Michael; he _was_ Michael.

With that, Gabriel quickly extracted himself from the dream - or memory or whatever - and with a flurry of uncontrolled Grace, he left the motel room. The sudden burst of Grace lingered in the room.

Dean woke up, suddenly, reaching for a gun and a knife and staring into the darkness.


	3. The People Who Stand With You Are Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Castiel and Gabriel talk and Gabriel jobs Team Free Will

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter kind of ran away with me. And grew. And had baby-chapters.

It had been a week since Gabriel had fled Dean's - or rather Michael's - motel room. He'd laid low, hiding in case Michael came looking for him. He was sure that his presence would have been noticed that night. But when no hunt came, he started to relax and consider going back. He had decided to join the Winchesters, but now, knowing what he knew... could he join his brother against Lucifer? 

Did Castiel know? A protective feeling came over him as he thought of one of his two favourite little brothers. They were both utterly in love with Michael and he with them. But what had happened since Gabriel had left that would cause Michael to Fall and abandon his mates. He really needed to speak with Castiel. He sighed and snapped up a candy cane, nibbling it thoughtfully. 

He wouldn't betray Lucifer. That much was certain. But to force him and Michael together and force them to talk about their problems rather than fight? _That_ was what he had always wanted. His brother and his mate. He loved them both and their fighting had always hurt him badly. That neither of them had noticed how badly he had hurt him had hurt even more. 

It was so hard. Ever since Lucifer had risen, he'd felt the Morningstar searching for him, calling for him, and he had wrapped his Grace up even more tightly. It wasn't that he didn't want to be found by his mate, it was more that he still didn't want to pick a side. Though hiding from him hurt Gabriel.

He sighed and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. _Lucifer_. He remembered his smile. The look of pure adoration that crossed his face when he looked at Gabriel. He remembered how it felt to be touched by him. His body trembled when he thought about Lucifer's fingers trailing through his wings, stroking his feathers to send him to a higher level of pleasure.

"Shit!" He cursed as he felt himself harden. There was a reason he rarely thought about him; no matter how long it had been, he still reacted. Another reason he hid himself from Lucifer. He wasn't sure he could resist jumping him and begging to be claimed again and again if he saw him or felt his Grace. And he was really too mad at Lucifer to let him do that. Despite how pleasurable it would be. 

And it _would_ be pleasurable. 

Gabriel shuddered.

"Stop thinking these thoughts, Gabriel!" He snapped at himself. "Just man up, and go and side with the Winchesters. _Dean_ doesn't want to destroy humanity." 

So he shoved all thoughts of his mate and Michael away and focused on finding the falling Grace of his little brother, reaching out to see if he was with the Winchesters before snapping himself into their motel room.

"Hello boys," he drawled, bouncing on the balls of his feet, arms swinging by his side and a manic grin on his face. "What are we hunting?" Sam jumped up from where he was researching at the table and Gabriel saw his little brother edge forward, as though wanting to protect his humans, but fully aware that there was nothing he _could_ do. Gabriel winced as he recalled how hard the new little falling angel fought to protect the Winchester boys - and he didn't even know that Dean was Michael. Gabriel wondered how Castiel would take the truth.

"The fuck?" Dean growled, jumping for a gun. Gabriel smirked and flicked his hand in a cheery wave. 

"You know that won't work, Dean-o," he laughed, settling down on a chair, and folded. "Well? What are we hunting?"

" _We're_ hunting a ghost," Dean forced out from between gritted teeth. The Trickster archangel irritated him more than most other angels did. They were all dicks, just had differing levels of dickage. Cas was, in fact, the only angel worth _anything_ and he really hoped the falling angel found God so that Dean could tell him _exactly_ what he thought about the treatment the only good angel had received from the loving arms of what were supposed to be his siblings. " _You_ are leaving. Now."

"Mmmm, nope," Gabriel replied, lips popping on the 'p' sound, drawing it out. "No. I've decided. And your side? Might not be as hopeless as I first thought. I wanna help." _There_ , Gabriel thought, _there, that flash. It's him. Shit_.

"Right. Sure. Of course you are. And all of a sudden you want to stand up to your family?" Dean scoffed.

"Well. It's a little more complicated than wanting to stand up to my family. Like I said, I've... I've got some intel that might suggest that the fight between Michael and Lucifer might not be what we, and most of Heaven, think. And no," he smirked again. "No, I don't want to elaborate or explain."

"And we're supposed to believe you?" Dean growled. 

"Dean, perhaps we should give him a chance. I mean we wanted him on our side when he was the Trickster--"

"Sammy!" 

"We need all the help we can get," Sam pointed out around a yawn. Gabriel looked at him; it didn't take much to see the mark that Lucifer left on him. Possession and jealousy surged up inside him; a result of the bond between him and Lucifer. He ruthlessly shut the feelings off, closing them away. It wasn't the younger Winchester's fault. Once he was certain the urge to smite Sam had gone, he took a shaky breath, fully aware that his little brother was watching him. 

He turned to Castiel, who had remained quiet since his arrival. "Castiel? Come here and convince these bozos I'm telling the truth. He held his hand out towards his baby brother, utterly proud of himself when he didn't shutter his face at Castiel's brief look at Dean. "Please, Castiel."

Cas stepped forward, shaking off Dean's hand and reached towards Gabriel's forehead, his failing Grace reaching out as his physical body did. Gabriel remained still; accepting the warm press of fingers and when Castiel's Grace touched him, he barely repressed a whimper. 

It had been _millennia_ since he had felt one of his siblings, since he had had Grace in any form wrapped around him. There was the swift, effervescent touch of Michael not long after he fled Heaven, and the calm, soothing presence of his Father when Lucifer was thrown into the cage. That was the only time Gabriel didn't ruthlessly suppress his Grace.

So when Castiel's touched him, as frail as it was, Gabriel was greedy; he _pulled_ and groped and wrapped it around himself, clutching the front of Castiel's stupid shirt. He reached out with his own Grace and poured it into his brother and they were laid bare to each other. Castiel's presence in his mind was gentle, yet thorough. It evoked memories of his fledgling days when Gabriel would play with and teach the younger angels. At the thought, images of a baby Castiel flittered through his mind and he felt Castiel's amusement and his own longing for a connection with family.

_The silence is deafening, isn't it older brother?_

_You get used to it_ , he assured Castiel.

 _I don't want to get used to it brother. I want the voices back. I want..._ he trailed off.

_I know, little one. I know. We'll talk about it, I promise. But for now, please know I mean my offer. I'm tired of being the Trickster. I'm an archangel; the Archangel of Last Judgement and I've decided it's time to bring judgement to this little Apocalypse._

A tremor of alarm shot through Castiel and made his Grace quiver. _You're not going to sound your Trumpet, are you_?

_No. But I'm not going to let Lucifer destroy the earth or humanity. I like it here._

_You'll fight him? But Gabriel, he's your--_

_\--I'll do what I have to_ , Gabriel said firmly, ending all thoughts in that direction. Castiel flared, surprise, then hope. He sensed that the younger angel thought he was a kindred spirit for fighting against a mate, and at that moment, he didn't have the heart to tell him who he was very certain Dean was. He'd tell him eventually, before Michael did something else incredibly stupid and break him more than he was. But he did wonder where Balthazar was in all of this, why he wasn't with his mate. Why he was letting Castiel break and Fall like this.

Cas reluctantly pulled away, staying inside Gabriel's personal space and tilted his head towards Dean. "He's telling the truth. He'll fight against Lucifer, but don't ask him to fight Lucifer."

"That's the same thing!" Dean hissed glaring at the short archangel.

Gabriel arched a brow, about to utter a snazzy, yet sarcastic reply but Cas' raised hand stopped him. "It's not Dean. It's not. Gabriel can no more face Lucifer in a direct confrontation than you can survive an attack by a pack of hellhounds." Dean winced at that. Because as comparisons go, it was a pretty personal one.

"He's that powerful?" Dean asked, eyes wide. Cas hesitated for a second, glanced at Gabriel and pursed his lips before answering carefully.

"Lucifer is an archangel. He was second created, rivalling Michael in power. There is a reason why it has to Michael that fights Lucifer."

And Gabriel, in that moment, fiercely loved Castiel. It wasn't exactly the truth, what he said. Gabriel could fight Lucifer and Michael; could take them both on and end their existences. But the fact that Castiel was trying to protect Gabriel was heartwarming. Because really? The Winchesters would follow through on their threat to deep fry themselves an archangel if they knew the truth of Gabriel's relationship with Lucifer.

He felt Sam's eyes on him and shivered when he looked up. Perhaps Sam _did_ know; it'd be something Lucifer would do. Use the bond to prove that he wasn't all bad.

It sucked.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Gabriel?" Cas appeared in the motel room in front of the archangel. Dean and Sam had insisted that a simple salt and burn didn't need his intervention and Castiel had taken off to find God. So Gabriel had remained in the motel, and had upgraded the scrappy TV to plasma and free cable.

"Castiel. I've been expecting you to come back ever since the boys left. Sit down," Gabriel sighed, clicking the mute button on the remote. 

"How do you do it? You're still alive, still sane and you've lasted millennia like this," Cas blurted out, sitting, head in his hands. Gabriel flinched and sighed.

"You sure dive straight in, don't you kid?" He blew another breath out and snapped up a bowl of popcorn. Awkward conversations went better with tasty accompaniment.

"I'm sorry, brother. I know it's hard. It's just..." and with this, Cas jumped up, pacing and Gabriel let him; better to let him work out his frustration then to deal with the probable fallout when the angel just _broke_.

"When I left," Gabriel said slowly, eyes focussed on a point beyond Castiel's face, list in memories of the past. "When I left, the one thing I regret was not telling you or Balthazar. But the fighting between the mate that I loved and the brother I adored and looked up to was tearing me apart. They both couldn't understand why I refused to side with them. And it wasn't because I was in the middle, that I loved them _both_ that I refused to choose.--"

\-- _Gabriel, you don't need to explain your actions. Not to me_ , Castiel interrupted speaking with his Grace.

"I know, Castiel. But I want to. I want you to know, I'm not _sane_. I'm petty, I'm vicious and greedy and broken. The war? It _ruined_ me. Ignoring the bond, turning my back on Lucifer, it destroyed me. I don't deserve to be an angel anymore, let alone an archangel. The Archangel of Last Judgement." He snorted. "I don't deserve to cast judgement on anyone. Do you know what Raphael's suggestion to help was?" At Castiel's headshake, he continued. "He was going to sever the bond between Lucifer and me." 

Castiel shuddered. "Brother, I--"

"I couldn't let him do that. Couldn't give up hope. But the day I left? I heard Michael planning the cage. He wanted somewhere to stash Lucifer until Raphael could break the bond between us, so that when he killed him, it wouldn't kill me." He laughed bitterly. "As if it wouldn't damage me to know he was dead, bond or not. But what was the icing on the cake, as the humans say, was how he was going to get Raphael to _forcibly_ break it. I fled, almost straight into some of Lucifer's Fallen and discovered they had orders to capture me and take me to Asmodeus. They were going to kill me and frame Michael, and as angry as I was at him, I couldn't let that happen."

"Lucifer's wrath would have been eternal. He would have torn Heaven apart. He would have--"

"--torn _you_ apart. And Balthazar. A mate for a mate. The destruction would have been terrible."

"I am sorry, brother," Castiel said, sitting next to him. He felt guilty that it was Michael that did this to him, his mate. But Gabriel smirked and touched his face.

"Don't worry, little brother, I've had thousands of years to think this through. I don't blame Michael any longer and I never blamed _you_."

"Michael vanished thirty one years ago. We were warned that he may have some archangel business to do that would necessitate a short absence. That was fine; we had each other. We understood that he didn't want to - or couldn't - share whatever it was that you archangel do. So when we woke up and Raphael was there, telling us Michael had to go for a little while, it was all right. We continued on in the garrison; Balthazar had a brief station on Earth. Then one day, we felt it. Felt the bond break. The only thing that could do that is death," Castiel's voice went flat. Gabriel reached out and took his brother in his arms. He stayed silent; about his suspicions and with any words of comfort. He did think, though and the thought was pushed by Grace to Castiel and it made him smile, if only briefly.

 _Michael is a dick_.

"Gabriel," Castiel said reprovingly, amusement dancing in his eyes. "He's still my mate."

"Where's Balthazar?"

"He took it hard. Raphael told us we couldn't tell anyone. The Prince of the Heavenly Host vanishes without a word, and we feel our bond break and were cast aside adrift and we weren't to tell anyone. We had no one to talk to; Raphael made it clear that when he said not to talk to anyone that included each other and him. Balthazar couldn't handle it. He spent time here looking for traces of Michael and then he discovered alcohol. Raphael tried to help, but as you know there is only so much a healer can do when healing is denied." He paused, the light leaving his eyes. "He pushed me away. We had a fight - rather public and very loud - and he withdrew from me completely, demanding to spend his time on Earth."

"What made you choose to go to Hell after Dean?" Gabriel was curious. If he was right, then the _only_ angels that could have raised Dean from Perdition would have been Castiel or Balthazar. And if Balthazar is as much a mess as Castiel said, then it would have been no option.

"I hurt, from the severed bond, from Balthazar's rejection. I was tired. I saw, I heard what was going on - Raphael still kept me informed of what was happening even with my two links to the inner circle gone. I begged, I ordered and I cajoled to join the strike team. Raphael relented."

"Castiel, I'm not sure what I should say, or how much. I could go home but I'm not sure how much Raphael would tell me about whatever plans he and Michael have concocted. What I'm trying to say is, I think Michael isn't dead. Just changed his nature. When an angel changes, the bond will reflect that. Michael isn't the same as he was, so that Michael that bonded you was dead."

"Gabriel," and this time it was Castiel's angry voice, complete with flashes of Grace in those unnaturally blue eyes of his baby bro.

"Please, Castiel. Let me investigate this. If I'm wrong, you can do whatever you want to me. If I'm right, maybe one of us can be happy again."

"I'm not sure I will be happy, even if Michael _is_ alive. Balthazar is broken, badly damaged. I'm Falling, felt the betrayal of a brother, Raphael, killing me for thinking for myself. All of this came from Michael's choice not to tell us anything. I'm sure Father would not have created us to be mates or allowed us to be if we weren't able to handle the secrets. And..." Castiel's voice broke. "I fear I'm feeling in love with Dean Winchester."


	4. Faith of the Fallen

Gabriel had been watching Castiel since their talk several days ago. It was beginning to irritate Dean. Every time he looked up, there was Gabriel's golden brown eyes on _his_ angel, worry, love and concern all bleeding into one emotion. It annoyed Dean to say the least. Made him twitch, fingers going for a gun or blade that he knew wouldn't do _shit_ against an archangel and then he'd end up being smote out of existence by an irate Gabriel. 

It _still_ irritated him. 

"Gabriel, _quit_ it!" Dean growled, stabbing the knife he was sharpening into the table angrily. Cas jerked his head to look at him, a little frown furrowing his forehead. Gabriel's eyes flickered to Dean, back to Castiel and then to Dean again before the corners of his mouth turned up in a little smirk. 

"Quit _what_ , exactly, Dean-o?"

" _Quit_ staring at Cas like that!"

"Like _what_?" And damn, did Gabriel know how to play innocent. Dean growled again. The smirk grew wider at the growl. 

"Gabriel, stop looking at Cas like _that_!" 

"Like what? My brother doesn't mind my looking at him, do you Castiel?" Castiel rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Gabriel, stop taunting Dean. Dean he's my brother; he's allowed to look at me. He's concerned for me. If positions were reversed, would you not be concerned if Sam was suddenly cast aside and _murdered_ by another one of his brothers?" Cas snapped, exasperated at the tension between Dean and Gabriel. He'd noticed Gabriel's looks, but was resolutely determined to ignore him. His words that Michael was still alive haunted him. If it was the case, if it was, he would kill smack Michael.

Dean glowered at that. And turned his glare on Gabriel once more. Okay, so maybe Castiel was right. He would do to the same and had done the same, but it wasn't the same. It _wasn't_ the same. Cas was _his_ and _he'd_ protect him. Dammit! 

Gabriel laughed out loud at the look on Dean's face. He was so sure he was right. Dean had to be Michael. He had to be. The possessive way he looked at Castiel, the way he wanted to shoot or stab Gabriel for doing something as simple as looking at him. What would make him come back? And would that be the best thing for Castiel? Would it be any better for Balthazar, who sounded like he was so broken. He'd have to find some way to get his hands on Balthazar and see if he could help him. 

His laundry list was getting longer. _Help the Winchesters_ \- check. _Help Castiel_ \- getting there. Now _find and fix Balthazar_ and _either rescue Michael_ or _stop Michael from getting his memories back_. He wasn't quite decided on the last one, yet. He couldn't kill Dean, he was pretty certain that Michael would awake if he tried. He was pretty shocked that he hadn't been awoken yet. Especially after all the Tuesdays he killed Dean. If Michael awakened, then he would have that reckoning to pay for. A tricky situation, balanced precariously on the edge of knife.

Dean growled and got up. "I'm going out. Sammy? You coming?"

Sam looked up from his laptop, and shook his head. "Nah, but get dinner, okay?"

"Sure. Bitch."

"Jerk." 

And with that, the door slammed. Gabriel got up and sighed, rolling his shoulders. He earned a look from Castiel and Sam and he smirked, waving his hands a little. "I've got something to do, children. Behave. I'll be back soon okay?"

"Gabriel," Castiel commanded his attention, voice low and gravelly. "What are you up to?"

"Me, little brother? I'm up to nothing. There's just some things I need to do. It's nothing really," Gabriel smirked. "Bye-bye!"

"GABRIEL!" Castiel roared as he left. "Sometimes I want to stab him."

"I know that feeling," Sam commented laughing. "It's a younger brother thing, I think."

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean slammed the door to the Impala, and whacked his hands on the wheel. Dammit, but Gabriel really riled him sometimes. He didn't know what it was, but he knew that Castiel was his. _His_ dammit. And he didn't know where this possessiveness came from because even losing his mojo, Cas could still beat the ever loving shit out of him. 

He decided to go for a drive. Maybe pick up burgers to annoy Sammy with. Yeah, that would be good. He'd annoy Sam and things would go better. He should tell Cas that he loved him. He should. It wasn't that he was having a crisis of sexuality or anything. It wasn't _men_ , it was _Cas_. And he knew it. But he didn't deserve anything; not after the things he'd done. He'd jump-started the end of fucking days for God's sake. And didn't _that_ bring a whole new meaning to that particular epithet?

He snorted. Yeah like Hell God gave a flying fuck what was happening here. Just look at everything. Look at what was happening. Cas was _Falling_ for believing in a human. And humans were supposed to be God's favourite children. 

He turned the ignition on and just started driving before he began spouting maudlin crap and being such a fucking _girl_. He'd find a bar, have a quick drink then come back with food and, yeah, maybe some fucking candy for Gabriel. He'd make nice with him for Castiel's sake.

~~~~~~~~~~

Gabriel found himself in one of his hideaway apartments. He had all the things he'd need for a summoning ritual right here. Holy oil, especially. One never knew when a runaway angel might need to trap another angel in a ring of holy fire and make another run for it. It was the first thing he picked up when he found himself planet-side after the war. 

Conjuring a glass of whiskey, he fell on his sofa and sighed. He didn't want to do this, didn't want to bring his little brother here by force, but Castiel _needed_ him. And Gabriel was certain that Balthazar needed Castiel as much. Michael had fucked a lot of things up by leaving the way he had. And Raphael for letting him. Gabriel was very surprised that he hadn't forcibly healed the bonds between Castiel and Balthazar. The pair were falling apart without each other. 

It was time, he should get this over with. Summon Balthazar and whack him around the head a few times until he thought straight. 

A wave of his hand brought all the ingredients together and moved the furniture of his living room around to give him enough space. Grabbing the urn of oil, he poured it in a perfect circle, leaving a little gap at the end. Better to be safe than haven something accidently spark and flame and be trapped until Castiel could come to him. And wouldn't _that_ be something, having to be rescued by his _baby_ brother?

Kneeling, he sliced his palm collecting the pooling blood in a goblet. The sigils that needed to be painted, had to be painted with exact precision. Any mistake and Balthazar could escape before he had a chance to reason with him. 

A brush appeared, and he dipped it before carefully painting Balthazar's name in Enochian on the floor at the centre of the circle. His intent circled the name. Carefully containing a dearly loved brother. Not to harm him physically or emotionally, but to keep him in one place where he could talk to him. The closer to the ring of holy oil Gabriel got, the more he found himself writing sigils of love and peace before he finally stepped out of the circle and sealed it.

He stood and began speaking softly and repetitively in Enochian. His voice rose and fell with the words, getting stronger and stronger with each recitation. Balthazar was fighting him, Gabriel could feel that and it almost made him laugh before realising that he was masking his Grace by pure instinct. No matter how broken Balthazar was, he wouldn't disobey a direct summoning by an archangel. 

Not even Castiel would if Raphael summoned him.

A flash of pure white light and Balthazar appeared in front of him, arms folded. He was in a blonde haired vessel, with blue eyes. Not as deep or bright as Castiel's, but blue still. Gabriel frowned and looked at him. His Grace shone through, like Castiel's, like Gabriel's. Gabriel created his vessel, Castiel was resurrected _in_ his vessel, alone. They belonged to the angels. Balthazar's vessel was like theirs: his alone.

Balthazar glared at him, folded his arms and spoke in a British accent. He'd always been somewhat odd.

"Gabriel. Why've you brought me here?"

~~~~~~~~~~

The bar was practically empty, which was odd for the hour, but it meant that Dean had the pick of the bar and fast, quick service from the very good looking bartender. He gave her a friendly smile before taking a long, large gulp. 

"Dean Winchester. Michael's vessel. How fortuitous," the bartender smirked at him, leaning forward on her arms on the bar. Dean stiffened; the smell of stale tobacco and spoiled beer had covered up the lingering smell of sulfur. Now that he knew to look for it, he smelled it, faint and lingering, once brushed aside when a man in a corner struck a match to light a cigarette.

He leaned back, a fuck you smirk on his lips as he assumed his _do I give a fuck_ position. "What the fuck do you want?"

The demon tsked and waggled her finger in Dean's face. "Dean. Come on. Let's be civil about this."

"I'd rather not be civil with a demon whore. Thanks, but I'll think we'll be leaving now." He threw a few dollar bills onto the bar. "For the beer." 

"Oh Dean. As if we're going to let you go now!" The demon's eyes turned black as she laughed and made a vague gesture behind Dean. He turned and sighed when he saw the smoker and the other patrons behind him, all with black eyes. All with smirks. He knew there was a reason why the bar had been empty. 

~~~~~~~~~~

"Gabriel? Are you going to do anything but stare at me?" Balthazar said finally, fed up with his brother's staring. He just wanted to be left alone. He'd found this perfect bar and he intended to drink it before one of Raphael's cronies found him again and dragged him back to the healery. He knew he could cloak his Grace, be hidden from the others angels but this cat and mouse game with the healers was all he had left. After Michael left and Castiel abandoned him. 

"Balthazar. Aren't you a mess," Gabriel said softly, sitting on a chair he'd conjured by the side of the ring. "What happened to you?" 

"What happened, Gabriel? What happened? I'll tell you what happened! Michael left. He just left. Fuck, Gabriel, you left as well! But when Michael did, without a word, then Castiel took up some stupid mission to raise a stupid fucking _ape_ from fucking Perdition! _I was left alone!_ "

Gabriel got angry. " _You_ weren't alone. You had Castiel, until whatever fight the two of you had--"

"--is this what this is about? _Castiel_?" Balthazar blazed. "About how Castiel is all alone--"

"--Shut the _fuck_ up, Balthazar," Gabriel screamed, bulbs popping in the holders, plunging them in darkness. The windows shattered and then there was an almighty pop, and a deadly silence. To his credit, Balthazar went silent. There wasn't much else you could do when faced with an archangel's wrath. "Jus shut the fuck up! I don't know what happened between you and Castiel, I only know his side but frankly? You know know what? _I don't care_. You still had Castiel after what Michael did. Yeah, I left. What did _I_ have? I had a brother I loved trying to kill my mate; I had a mate I loved trying to kill my brother. I had another brother trying to forcibly break my bond with my mate. I had my Fallen brothers trying to capture and kill me to frame my brother so my mate would kill him. I didn't have another mate who needed me as much as I needed them. I didn't fall apart and abandon them when they needed me!"

"Castiel left me to raise some human from Perdition. What the fuck good is Michael vessel when Michael isn't even alive? Just-- just let me go, Gabriel. Let me _go_ ," Balthazar begged. "Please."

"Balthazar, Castiel left to get Dean because you pushed him away," Gabriel replied, all anger fading from his eyes as if it had never been there. He snapped his fingers and the from returned to its pristine form.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Cas," Dean croaked, crawling on the floor. He groaned as he was kicked in the ribs, the jolt sending him backwards. He coughed, spitting up blood. He couldn't speak, so he prayed. He prayed to Castiel. The angel once told him that all prayers where an angel was named went straight to that angel. So he told Castiel where he was in his prayer.

"Your little angel won't be coming," the demon sneered.

"Don't count on it," a gravely voice said before an angel blade slid through the chest of the demon. Castiel let the blade slide free before whirling around and quickly dispatching another demon. And another.

When it was over, he knelt beside Dean and, with a press of fingers, they were back at the motel. Sam jumped up, helped Cas to manoeuvre Dean onto a bed.

"What happened?" 

"He needs to be healed. Demons attacked him." 

_Gabriel, I need you. Please brother, return to the motel_ , he called to his brother through the lingering connection in their Grace. _Please, brother._

"What happened, Castiel?" Gabriel gasped, coming to stand beside him, hands already outstretched for healing. Another hand, this one on Castiel's shoulder. And a voice that he never thought he would hear again.

"Give Gabriel some room to heal Dean. You know he's a lousy healer." Castiel looked up, into pale blue eyes, and covered his hand on his shoulder. 

"Balthazar! What are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry, Castiel. I shouldn't have pushed you away. I'm here to help you from now on. I promise." And he looked down into those deep blue eyes and saw his own love reflected back at him.


	5. Speaking the Truth in Love

Gabriel sighed, leaning back from Dean. If Cas had been at full power, he'd have been able to heal him better than Gabriel did. Cas had a talent for healing that had bypassed Gabriel. As it was, Gabriel felt tired and shaky. He stood cautiously, one hand on the bed and let out a soft groan.

That was enough for Castiel to tear his face away from Balthazar and reach for Gabriel, steadying his brother with an arm. Balthazar was instantly by his side, hand trailing briefly on Castiel's back before helping to manoeuvre to Sam's bed. 

"Gabriel, brother," Cas started, eyes full of thanks. His charge had gotten hurt and he'd barely made it there to save him. And he couldn't heal him, thanks to his rebellion. He was very aware, however, of Balthazar's presence and the fact he'd turned up with Gabriel. It didn't surprise him, if he was honest with himself. Gabriel had always been something of a matchmaker in Heaven. 

Sam hovered by Dean's side, eyes busy on what he could see, assessing for damage. He jumped when the new angel approached him, leaving Cas with Gabriel.

"Gabriel may be a lousy healer, but he has healed your brother completely," Balthazar said quietly, half and ear listening to the soft whispers in Enochian that Cas and Gabriel were speaking in. 

"Who are you," Sam hissed, also quietly. It said something that he hadn't started the banishing sigil. He trusted Cas and Cas wasn't afraid or worried. And Castiel trusted Gabriel. Which, Sam supposed, was enough. 

"I'm Balthazar. I knew... I was close to Castiel in Heaven." Balthazar wasn't ashamed of his relationship with Castiel, but humans could be touchy about two people of the same gender in a relationship, and these humans meant something to his mate. That was plain to see. He was also unsure if Castiel wanted him as a mate anymore. Especially after the way he'd treated him. It was best to be circumspect.

Cas stopped speeding with Gabriel, gazed at Balthazar quietly for a moment before turning to Sam. "Balthazar and I are mates." The statement was short, simple and it made the breath catch in Sam's throat because, _dammit_ he wasn't stupid. He had seen the looks that Cas and Dean has shot at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. And _dammit_ , Cas had been playing him the whole time. Sam felt betrayed for Dean's sake.

"It's... complicated, Sam," Gabriel said through a yawn. He adjusted himself against the pillows and winced. At fingers ready to snap and make a better, more comfortable bed, Balthazar raised a brow and managed to look chastising. "What? It's uncomfortable. How you can sleep on these beds, Samsquatch, I don't know."

"Gabriel," Cas' voice took on a tone that Sam was familiar with: older, stubborn brother being stubborn and unreasonable. That Cas knew what Gabriel was planning merely from Balthazar's raised brow was pretty impressive.

"Castiel and I haven't been together for longer than you've been alive," Balthazar explained. "I'm not much of an angel. Or a mate. He deserves better." And the look on his face made Sam's heart soften. The love and affection was plain, as was the hurt, the anger and the betrayal. He was used to that look, even if the love aspect was very, _very_ different. 

"Balthazar --"

"-- Well. Gabriel needs to rest, and I'm sure you do, too Sam," Balthazar cut Cas off; he didn't want to hear - _couldn't_ hear that he was good enough. Because he knew the truth. He'd always known the truth; it was part of the reason he continued to start away from Castiel after he rebelled. Especially after Michael's death. Or supposed death if Gabriel was right. He wasn't sure if he wanted him to be right or not; Michael had screwed things up between the three of them, and between him and Castiel. Balthazar just screwed things up even more. He still didn't know how to deal with Gabriel's assertion that Michael was alive. _Well. Some part of Michael anyway_. Gabriel had been pretty insistent that his nature had changed. Somehow.

Sam frowned; both beds were taken and he really didn't want to get another room and leave his brother with an unknown angel. 

"Oh for Father's sake!" Gabriel snapped. "Balthazar, since you insist on my not using my powers right now, _you_ make Sammy another bed. And change mine while you're at it."

Balthazar rolled his eyes at Sam and Castiel. "Yes, Oh Great and Wise Divine Postman." He finished with a flourish and a bow, the room changing as he bent. "Anything else?" Mildly asked, ignoring the peevish look in Gabriel's eyes. Sam suppressed a snicker; he wasn't sure how good an idea it was to laugh at Gabriel's expense. Archangel smite-y powers and everything. 

" Yeah. A bit of respect from the children would be nice."

"Whatever you say, Holy Archangel, so shall it be." _Now_ Sam knew that Balthazar was teasing Gabriel; he recognised the tone; he'd used it often enough on Dean, and when Gabriel huffed and closed his eyes resolutely ignoring Balthazar, Sam knew he was teasing the archangel. 

~~~~~~~~~~

With the humans sleeping and Gabriel resting, eyes closed so he didn't have to look at his disrespectful little brother (or at least, that's what he muttered when Sam had finally drifted off), there was nothing for Balthazar to do. He glanced at the TV and considered flicking it on. But that might wake everyone up. He was, frankly, bored. 

"Balthazar, what _are_ you doing here?" And the soft, cautious tone from his Castiel hurt him. Badly. A sign of how his treatment had hurt Castiel. 

"Gabriel. Pushy bastard that he is. Summoned me into a ring of holy oil. _Holy oil_ , Castiel," he chuckled and shook his head. Castiel's lips turned up slightly. "He beat the truth into me with that sharp tongue of his. When he left... I didn't know that Michael was going to make Raphael cut the bond between him and," a glance at the Winchesters to check they were sleeping. He didn't care if Gabriel listened in; he could be subtle occasionally and would know to pretend that he heard nothing until they announced it. But the thing between him and Castiel was too fragile, too special and too damaged for him to feel comfortable talking about it if the humans were awake. He was also fairly certain that Gabriel hadn't told them that he was Lucifer's mate. "--cut the bond. I can't imagine the pain that would have caused."

"Balthazar." A word exhaled. A word of pain and loneliness in three syllables. 

"I'm sorry Castiel. I'm so sorry. There's nothing I can do that can ever make up for the way I've treated you. I know that. But... I want you to know that I never stopped loving you. And I never will. I know things can't be the same between us - there's been too much hurt and anger and what Michael did - and I don't expect you to forgive me, but I want to help."

"Balthazar. I love you too." Castiel stood up and approached him warily. "And yes. You hurt me. You weren't the only one hurting over Michael. And you pushed me away. _You pushed me away_. I... don't know what we can do about it. I want to be with you again; you're my mate. But I've done something terrible."

"Fighting for what you believe in isn't terrible. Fuck, Castiel. You're trying to protect the bloody human race."

"No. Not that. I'm... I'm falling in love with Dean Winchester." With that, Castiel looked down at the floor, ashamed. He was upset over this. He was betraying his mate by his feelings - _both_ of his mates if Michael was truly alive in some form.

"I know. I know, Castiel. I felt it through the bond. That's another reason I stayed away. If being with this human made you happy in some form, for however long, then you deserved it. You haven't been happy for years and I couldn't make you happy. I was too selfishly involved with my own problems."

"What are we going to do, Balthazar?"

"We take one step at a time, love. If you want the human, I won't stand in your way." _No matter how it killed him_ , was his silent thought. 

"I want _you_ , too, Balthazar." With that, Castiel grabbed Balthazar and kissed him, tongue swiping at his mouth for entrance. Balthazar groaned; he never thought he'd get this again. Never taste Castiel again. He was selfish enough that he _wanted_ it. Even if it was just one more. He wrapped his arms around the dark hair angel, reaching for him with his Grace. _Shit_ , but it had been too long since he had his mate in his arms. 

At Castiel's moan, he yanked their bodies flush, erections running against each other before Balthazar broke the kiss. "Castiel, we should stop. We should." Grace rubbed and stroked, driving them senseless with need. 

Castiel's only reply was to nibble on his neck before dragging his tongue up, asking the pulse point before sucking on his neck. "I want you, Balthazar. I want you to take me, to claim me." 

_Shit_. If Castiel kept this up, he wasn't sure he'd be able to resist. His angel was very, very good at being persuasive. 

Dean shifted and grunted in his sleep. The sound made the two angels spring apart, panting, Grace still entwined. Castiel looked so good with kiss swollen lips and mussed hair. Balthazar glanced at the human, ensuring he was still asleep before turning back to Castiel. 

"Castiel--" Balthazar began, but a muttered word from Dean stopped him. He glared at the human, mouth dropped in shock. Did he just... did he just say that?

"Balthazar, did Dean just..." Castiel had frozen in utter shock, eyes wide. He's heard it too. Balthazar thought he was imagining it; was _hoping_ he'd imagined it. Evidently not.

Dean turned over, facing towards them, and threw one arm over his head, other curled around his abdomen. His eyes were squeezed shut, face lined with tension. He spoke again and this time, Balthazar was sure he heard what he said.

"That is your name. In Enochian." Castiel whispered as if saying it quietly would change that it had been said. Balthazar nodded, eyes firmly fixed on the human. He was drawn to the bed, drawn to kneel beside it. Dean moved again, almost hitting Balthazar in the head. He called out again, this time rushed words in a pleading tone.  
 _  
"No, don't leave the Garden, Balthazar. I'll find Castiel and bring him home. Stay away from Lucifer!"_

Castiel looked like he'd been burned; Balthazar jumped up and all but dived across the room, back against the wall, breath coming in short gasps. "No!" He shouted with his vessel's voice. The next shriek used his true voice. And that was enough.

Enough to wake Gabriel up, who sat up looking around for the danger, angel blade in his hand.

Enough to wake Sam up, who looked straight towards his brother out of habit.

And enough to wake Dean up, who blinked with green eyes shining with Grace.

"Shit," Gabriel muttered with feeling. _This_ was not the way he wanted his baby brothers to learn the truth. They were still handling the idea that Michael was alive.

Dean blinked slowly taking in the room. "Balthazar?" He murmured confused. "You're not supposed to be here. Nor you, Castiel. Gabriel. I should have known. If anyone could have ruined years of meticulous planning, it would have been you. I'm very glad to see you again, brother."

"Brother?" Sam hissed, edging towards Dean. He stopped when those eyes turned to him. His brother's eyes, but so alien. So different. " _Brother_? So what? You found some way to make Dean say yes in his sleep? How could you, Dean?" 

"Sammy," Gabriel said, tiredly. He stood and slid away his blade. He wouldn't use it on Michael. No matter how much he wanted to kill him for the hurt he caused Castiel and Balthazar.

"No, Gabriel! That's Michael--"

"--He's always been Michael, Sam."

" _No!_ " The anguish on Sam's face at the negative matched that on Balthazar's and Castiel's faces. Cas turned away from Dean/Michael staring at the wall, utter defeat lined in the slump of his shoulders. Gabriel caught his eye and became very, very afraid. Castiel had given up. He'd just given up. Gabriel had known that it might break the younger angel; had wanted to find a way to tell him gently with hints and clues after he'd re-established his support network and bond with Balthazar. Now, the rage that started to simmer in his eyes filed Gabriel with a cold dread.

"You little piece of _shit_!" Balthazar hissed, striding forward and punching Michael in the face hard. He swung again but Gabriel grabbed him, yanking him back. He struggled with Gabriel, spewing words and curses in Enochian, eyes wild and broken.

"You've... always been _Michael_?" Sam asked betrayal computing his words.

"I'm still your brother, Sammy. I'm still Dean," Michael replied softly, tearing his eyes away from Balthazar, focusing on his other brother in the room. "It's complicated."

"Don't you dare. Don't you _dare_ call me that!" Sam hissed, eyes flashing dangerously. "I can't deal with this. I can't." With that, Sam all but ran for the door, slamming it on the way out. Michael followed him with his eyes sadness etched deeply. He sighed and turned to Castiel; he'd deal with Sammy later. "Castiel, what happened to you wasn't supposed to happen. Raphael was supposed to look after you - both of you - until I returned. If this is his version of looking after you, then he and I will be having words." He crossed the room and embraced him from behind, Grace opening up the falling angel's fading link to Heaven and held him when his knees buckled at the onslaught of voices weaving around his mind as the words of the Host returned to him.

Gabriel grunted; Balthazar may have let himself go the last thirty odd years, but he was still a warrior and was using every trick he'd learned to escape Gabriel's grip. But Gabriel want going to let him go, not when he might kill Michael if the archangel said a word wrong.

Castiel turned in Michael's arms when he felt steady, raised a hand, traced his face before drawing back and hitting Michael with all the strength, all the power that had been returned to him. He sent Michael sprawling back over the bed, Balthazar making a sound of encouragement. 

Gabriel had forgotten how fast Castiel was; he barely had time to blink before his younger brother had Michael by the collar, deadly intent in his eyes. Clearly Gabriel had restrained the wrong mate. He snapped his fingers quickly before returning the hand to Balthazar, who had used the distraction to almost wiggle free. 

Castiel ended up on the opposite side of the room, which Gabriel had enlarged by throwing them in a pocket dimension. He growled at the Trickster archangel for his interruption.

"Castiel, Balthazar, please. Just _listen_ to me," Michael begged.

"Listen to you? After what you did to us? I'll kill you!" Balthazar hissed, slamming his elbow into Gabriel's stomach. The archangel didn't move, just turned cool, angry eyes on Michael.

"You really fucked up this time, big brother."

"Stay out of this Gabriel. It doesn't concern you. This is between me and my mates."

"It might have escaped your attention, Michael, but said mates want to kill you!" 

Castiel took a step forward and Gabriel flung his hand out, pinning the younger angel to the wall. "I don't wanna hurt either of you, little brothers."

"Then let me go so we can greet our dearly beloved mate properly," Balthazar hissed feral.

Gabriel felt his Grace expand, mingle with Castiel and become strong through their shared bond. It didn't take much for them to unite as one once more. It had merely taken Michael's betrayal and arrival to do so again. This was going pretty bad very quickly. Gabriel concentrated, sent his Grace spiralling, ready to throw barriers up to prevent the coming bloodshed. 

"Michael, I think you should leave," Gabriel grunted, adjusting the grip he had on Balthazar. 

"Gabriel," Michael started, voice low and dangerous. He hated when Gabriel interfered with his mates, but he supposed he should be used to it by now. "Just--"

Thunder rolled through room, bulbs blowing as electricity danced across the ceiling, trailing along the walls before arching to the floor leaving scorch marks on the carpets. Gabriel blinked, arms going slack around Balthazar, and the younger angel was able to creep free, disappearing and reappearing next to Castiel in a moment, blade out. His baby brothers' eyes were glued on Michael whilst Grace flowed through the pocket dimension.

 _Shit_. 

Gabriel knew this Grace. Knew it and trembled, heart racing as his body reacted subtly to his presence. He must not have shielded this room from him. He should have known that Castiel and Balthazar's righteous fury would have caught his attention; he loved them as much as Gabriel did.

His eyes closed briefly and he let out a moan as the Grace thickened, entangling around him, caressing him with gentle tendrils, flitting through his wings. Castiel snapped his eyes to Gabriel in concern, took a step forward, Michael momentarily forgotten as he focused on Gabriel and his growing panic.

He slipped to his knees, one arm on the wall, trying to support himself from sinking further towards the floor. Gabriel's breath came quickly, eyes wild. He wanted to leave, wanted to stay, wanted to wrap himself in that Grace. All he could do was inhale shallowly.

"Gabriel," Castiel started softly. The next words were cut off as the electricity solidified in the centre of the room, standing between Michael and his mates. 

"Lucifer," Gabriel moaned, collapsing all the way to the floor. " _Lucifer_."


	6. Love is a needlepoint

Gabriel hunched down on himself on the floor and Balthazar knelt next to him, a hand on his shoulder as Lucifer’s form solidified. _Lucifer_. He raised his head, eyes unerringly reaching Lucifer’s eyes and a small sound of protest escaped his lips as Lucifer took a step before him. 

“Gabriel.” In that word, his name, was millennia of longing, of anger of lust, need, want, desire, mate and mine. _Mineminemine_. “Gabriel.” 

“Lucifer, now is _not_ the time,” Michael’s voice cut through and his eyes narrowed on the form of his little brother. This was all going wrong. He had a plan. It was a good plan, well thought out, ordained by his Father. And now? Now it was all going wrong and, as usual, Gabriel was to blame. He was always there, playing tricks, making mischief and ignoring plans and orders to do thing his way. His mates looked at him with looks of incredulity, of anger and hatred and somehow—he wasn’t sure _how_ —but he was sure it was Gabriel’s fault. He sighed and rubbed his head briefly. 

“Michael,” Lucifer laughed, a harsh angry sound. He did not know what angered him more: the brother who wanted to kill him, the fact that his two favourite little brothers were obviously upset or that his mate looked terrified as he looked upon him. “Michael what the _fuck_ did you think would happen? I would ignore my brothers’ anger and fear? That I would ignore my mate’s?”

“Your mate’s,” Michael sighed. “Gabriel. You always ruined everything. You had to poke and tease this time didn’t you? You just had to stick your nose where it did not belong. If you had stayed out and let me finish—”

“ _Excuse me_!”Gabriel hissed, drawing himself off, shrugging off Balthazar’s hand. 

“Gabriel, I don’t think Michael meant,” Castiel began and Gabriel waved him to be silent.

“No, no, Cas. Let him explain himself because, seriously? If he thinks that this,” and he waved around the room, eyes darkening in righteous fury. “This is _my_ fault, then he is completely and utterly _delusional_.” Gabriel finished, closing his mouth with an audible snap. 

“If you had not interfered with me and Sam,” Michael began and Gabriel stalked forward, hesitating only briefly when he passed Lucifer.

“Go on,” he purred dangerously. “Continue telling me how this is my fault. How the reason you were going to forcibly sever my bond with Lucifer was my fault. How you leaving your mates is my fault. How them feeling you die was my fault. Go on, tell me.” He paused briefly and glared at Michael. “No, you know what I’d say is my fault? It’s that I still love you, despite what you wanted to do. I still love Lucifer. You know what else is my fault? That I realised you’d left, that you’d left your mates and I _cared_ about them. I cared enough that I got my hands on Balthazar and tried to repair. The. Damage. You. Did.” And each word was punctuated by a punch to Michael’s face. He pulled back to hit him again when he was grabbed from behind. 

“Gabriel, enough,” Lucifer told him softly, restraining him. 

“No, Luci, let me go! I’m gonna kill the bastard. He fucking deserves it. He’s a heartless prick! Let me go!” He reached out with his Grace, trying to dislodge Lucifer from him. He hated Michael right now, more than he’d ever hated anyone in his life. He always thought he was right, the self righteous dick! So focused on the task at hand that he never saw the bigger picture. Or the people he’d hurt. Gabriel was _tired_ of being the one that was hurt. Tired of everyone trying to hurt him. He sagged in Lucifer’s arms.

Lucifer, however, was not stupid and didn’t loosen his grip on his mate. After a few minutes, Gabriel cursed him again and started struggling. Lucifer rolled his eyes; he knew his mate. And so he mouthed on the spot on the back of Gabriel’s neck that made him—

 _Ah, there._ Gabriel bit back a moan and tried to twist in him arms. “No, no you have no right to touch me like that.” And now his fury was directed to Lucifer. That was fine by Lucifer; he’d always thought that Gabriel was stunning when he was angry and there was absolutely no chance of him killing Lucifer. Their bond would stop it.

“Let. Me GO!” On that, Gabriel unleashed true voice, causing the two seraphim to stagger to the floor, hands over ears trying to ineffectually block their ears. “LETMEGO!” He pounded on Lucifer’s chest with blasts of Grace and Lucifer staggered, grip not weakening. Michael approached them and Castiel was there immediately, sword drawn. He hadn’t forgotten his own anger in the face of an archangel’s wrath.

“Castiel, please, let me explain. Let me just...”

“You don’t get to speak to him, you piece of shit. You don’t deserve him,” Balthazar turned his head to face Lucifer. “None of you deserve them. What the fuck did you think Gabriel’d do when you tried to kill his mate? When _you_ tried to kill his older brother? What did you think Cassie and I would do when we felt you die? That we’d welcome you back with open arms? Seriously. Cassie, Gabriel, we’re going.” And he was brazen inn the face of two archangels. Theoretically, he knew they wouldn’t cause them physical harm. He didnt want to test that theory. Cas placed an arm back on Gabriel and the archangel gripped his hand. 

“Let me go Lucifer. Please,” he said softly, eyes looking up at him like melting caramel. Lucifer sighed and kissed him, a chaste brush of lips that made Gabriel moan longingly. 

“I’ve just got you back, Gabriel.”

“I can’t... I can’t stay here like this. _We_ can’t stay here like this. It’s too much. Too much pain. You hurt me Lucifer and I can’t... I just can’t.” Tears streamed down the youngest archangel’s face and the Morning Star let him go. Castiel gripped him hard and shot Lucifer a look. 

“We’ll look after him. Don’t come looking for us.”


	7. Pain Consuming

Almost as soon as they had left, Cas elected to search for Sam. "Sam will trust me," was all he said. Balthazar grimly nodded and told him the location to the apartment Gabriel summoned him to. It stood to reason that the Messenger had warded the place from Heaven, Hell and any instances of combined efforts thereof. 

The lounge was how Gabriel and he had left it earlier that day - including the half empty bottle of whiskey that they'd drunk after Gabriel had released him from the holy fire ring. Gabriel made a beeline for that bottle, and frankly Balthazar was all for getting drunk and forgetting about what had happened. However...

"Fuck." His curse caused Gabriel to look up dully. “I _hate_ being the responsible adult!"

"We could probably use a responsible adult right now," Gabriel allowed slowly. "But you wouldn't have been my first choice."

"Cassie is off fetching the responsible adult. Isn't that the other Winchester?"

Gabriel snorted. "In this situation? Probably not.”

“Gabriel, what do we do?”

“Right now? Drink ourselves into unconsciousness.”

“...do you have enough alcohol for that?”

“I have more.”

“Well, then.”

~~~~~~~~

“Sam. Where are you?” Castiel growled into the phone. He had appeared on the opposite side of the town they’d been in after ascertaining that the impala had gone. He suspected that Sam had taken it when he’d taken off. 

“I’m on my way to Bobby's.”

“Don’t!” Cas snapped suddenly. He paused and sighed. “Dean – Michael – knows where you go to hide.”

“How’d Michael get to Dean anyway?”

“Tell me where you are and I'll come get you. Gabriel has a safe place. We can talk there.”

He waited a few seconds, listening to the sounds of Sam pulling over before a location was snapped into the phone. Cas was there within seconds, pulling the door open and sitting down. “I...” He actually didn't know what to say to Sam. For months they'd been fighting the apocalypse, fighting saying yes to the archangels and it turns out that maybe Dean had been Michael all along. Everything Castiel had fought for, everything he'd sacrificed, it meant nothing. He slammed his hand on the dash, denting it slightly. 

“Cas?” 

“Lets go.” A raised hand and they were in an underground parking facility. Cas got out, Sam following. He raised a hand to the hunter’s forehead and they reappeared in the lounge of Gabriel’s apartment.

“Hey Sammy,” Gabriel called saluting him with a glass of whiskey. A full glass. Sam blinked when he saw Balthazar sprawled next to him, also with a full glass. Cas sighed, shoved Balthazar's feet off the sofa, sat down and stole his glass. Balthazar frowned and waggled a finger at him.

“Pull up a seat, Moose. Beer? Something stronger?” Gabriel offered, gesturing to the coffee table where copious amounts of alcohol suddenly appeared.

“That’s not gonna be enough, Gabriel.”

“Archangel, Balthazar. I can make more.”

“What the fuck is going on?”

“I only know part of the story, Sammy. Michael's the one who probably knows the whole story.” He made a pained sound and looked down surprised to see the glass had smashed and his hand bleeding. “Oops!”

“It starts a long time ago, before Lucifer fell,” Balthazar started. “Michael courted Cassie and I. Lucifer...”'he trailed off and looked at Gabriel. There was more expression in a wall than was on the archangel's face. However, something in that told him to continue. “Lucifer courted Gabriel. We were happy. Then Lucifer and Michael fucked up. Made demands on Gabriel that no one should: choose me, your brother, not your mate; come with me my love and we’ll never have to see that traitorous brother again et cetera. It was hard. He left. Fast forward. Michael left us.”

“We felt him die. But it turns out he left to be born as Dean. What I don’t understand is _why_.”

“For Gabriel and Lucifer.” A soft voice behind Sam answered. Castiel's eyes went wide and he stood, taking a step towards Sam. There was actual fear on his face and that filled Sam with a dark, uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. Gabriel slammed his glass down on the coffee table enough to smash it and splinter the table.

“Gabriel. Little brother.” Sam watched as the angel - _arch_ angel, because what else would call Gabriel little brother? – moved toward Gabriel and reached a hand out. Gabriel whimpered and scrambled over the back of the sofa in an undignified way, falling in a sprawl before peeking up over the back.

“Raphael, don’t.” 

“But he is hurt, Balthazar.”

“And he’s still afraid that you will break his bond with Lucifer.” 

“I swear on our Father’s Name that I will do no such thing, little brother,” Raphael gave him a fond look. 

“Why are you here, Raphael?” Castiel’s voice cut through the moment.

“Castiel, I want to say that I am really sorry for...” he trailed off and looked contrite. 

“For killing me?” Castiel replied bluntly. Balthazar and Gabriel looked up quickly. 

“Killed you? You kill Castiel?” Gabriel shrieked and jumped over the sofa, glaring at the older archangel. “You killed him? What the fuck for, Raphael?” 

Raphael spread his hands wide in a gesture clearly meant to calm but none of the angels looked like it was working. _This is bad,_ Sam thought as he edged as far away as the room allowed him to. He was outgunned here; a human, in the middle of a room full of angels. Shit.

His movement caught Raphael's eye and he gave a soft smile. “I will not harm you Sam Winchester. My brother - _our_ brother – would not like that.”

“Michael is not my brother!”

“Michael has always _been_ Dean, Sam.”

Gabriel edged forward and folded his arms. “I think you had best explain everything.” 

Raphael gestured to a chair. “May I?” At Gabriel's nod, he sat down and sighed. “Michael saw what you had become. He saw you and you were going to fall. Not fall like the followers of Lucifer. But well and truly fall.”

“I... I know. I felt the darkness creeping in me. I was a little too violent, the bloodlust shone a little too brightly. I was fragile and shattered.”

“We did you great wrong. We did Lucifer a great wrong. And so Michael prayed to help you two. But our Father had already foreseen this and set the apocalypse into motion. To be forgiven, Lucifer must be freed and the only way to start that was for a righteous man to break the first seal. Michael was unwilling to let a human be tortured thusly so he made a demand of our Father.”

“To be born as Dean Winchester?” Castiel said softly. He sat down hard, missing the sofa and landing the floor. “Then... he fell, like Anna? That's what we felt.”

“Yes and no. He didn't fall, but suppressed his Grace in such a way that it would have felt like it to you two.” 

“And the purpose of this was to...?” 

“Free Lucifer. Find Gabriel. Save you both. I do not have the entirety of the plan but eventually, Michael would have woken up and confronted Lucifer to forgive him. We let slip that Dean was Michael's vessel so all of Heaven would be aware of him. Balthazar wasn’t supposed to leave – the spell on Michael meant that only his mates could sense him in Hell. You were to accompanying Castiel, and stay with him with the Winchesters.”

“And me?” Sam asked angrily. “What? Give up my life to Lucifer so he and Michael can, I don’t know, hug and kiss?”

“I would have restored your soul to your body after Lucifer had used it. You would have been fine. Michael... he loves his brothers and we suspected that he would feel the same about you, Sam. So we ensured that you would be safe.”

“If you still want to continue to see if... to help Lucifer redeem himself, I could make a body that doesn’t require using a vessel,” Gabriel offered hesitantly. Raphael smiled at him.

“Why couldn’t Michael have told us that it would feel like he’s dead? So much that has happened would not have.”

“Would you have done what you were told if you knew Michael was down here?”

“I might not have lost faith in Heaven and in you. I might not have lost faith in Michael. I might not have rebelled. Perhaps you might not have murdered me for thinking for myself, Raphael.”

“I didn’t –”

“I was alone because Balthazar was messed up over your fucking plan. You pushed me away, Raphael. I needed you and you pushed me away. Then you killed me. If I had – we had – known, we could have _helped_. Lucifer and Gabriel are our brothers too.”

“What was the next part of your stella plan, Raphy?” Gabriel asked condescendingly. “Lucifer would have been in no mood to hug and kiss with Michael. He... he’s so angry; it’s scary.” He finished with a shudder and Balthazar squeezed his hand. “I am not sure if I want to see Michael again; he’s my brother and I love him but he’s hurt two of my favourite little brothers. He hurt me. Neither if you cared _then_ , why should I believe that you care now?”


	8. Do we not all have one father?

Lucifer stared at the spot that Gabriel had occupied not minutes before. All these months, he'd been missing. He knew that his mate had left Heaven, had taken refuge on earth but he’d locked his grace down so hard that it had been impossible to track him. Until tonight.

And now when he'd had him in his reaches, he'd been forced to let him go. The idea that he'd caused even _caused_ the smallest part of the pain Gabriel was feeling made him feel sick. 

So he let him go. For now. He knew his brothers would take care of him.

“It wasn’t supposed to go this way,” Michael muttered. Lucifer looked up at his brother confused.

“What wasn’t supposed to this way?” Lucifer frowned. “And how'd you convince Dean to say yes?”

“I've always been Dean.” Michael sighed and rubbed his head with his hand before sitting on the nearest bed – Sam’s. 

“You’ve always been—are you _insane_? Gabriel broke your brain when he hit you, right? Or – you were so anxious in case Winchester reneged that you fell a little too hard into that small shell.”

“Lucifer – ”

“No, Michael. I can't believe you'd just _fall_ like that; that you'd abandon little Castiel and Balthazar! That you’d let Gabriel just go!”

“Let Gabriel go? _Let him go_? Lucifer, no ones makes Gabriel do anything he doesn’t want to do, including Father!”

Lucifer scoffed. “Then why? Why abandon your mates? Why leave _them_?”

“For you, Lucifer! For Gabriel! That's why I did this!” Michael shouted at him, smatterings of his true voice coming out. “I love you, Lucifer! I couldn't just abandon you!”

“You _did_ abandon me, Michael! You cast me out!”

“At His behest!”

“That’s your fucking excuse! You were jealous! You might have been first, have been Daddy's perfect little soldier, but I was the favourite and I always asked _why_! Even Gabriel never blindly followed orders, he always indulged his rebellious streak when it came to things he disliked. You couldn’t stand it! You and Raphael! Perfect, obedient warriors. And it galls you!”

“That’s not true! Lucifer, you were the jealous one! Didn't think Dad would love you because he had a shiny new toy! Dad never stopped loving you.”

“Dad locked me away for _millennia_!”

“So he didn't have to kill you!”

“ _You_ tried to kill me!”

“I never wanted to kill you! I was glad when the cage was made! I never wanted to kill you!” 

Lucifer stared at him, disbelieving. He paced, agitated. Michael wanted to kill him; it was obvious. But this... half-cocked plan. He didn't know what to think.

“What did you think you would accomplish?”

“You saying sorry to Father. Us saving Gabriel from himself. You realise he’s going to fall in the worst way if he continues on the path he's on, right?” He paused for Lucifer's nod of assent. “We agree to disagree on humanity and go _home_ , Lucifer. But,” he stopped and held his head in his hands before looking up, tears trailing down his face. Lucifer stopped and knelt before him. Never had he seen Michael cry; not even when he’d caged him.

“Mikey?” He asked softly, using the nickname that Gabriel had favoured once. “Mikey, what’s...” he trailed off and Michael laughed, a harsh bitter sound.

“What’s wrong? That's what you were going to ask, right _Luci_? Lucifer, being Dean, being _human_ has taught me so much. I was an awful brother to you. To Gabriel. Growing up it was always Sam I had to protect – as Dean. This is going to be confusing,” he clarified at Lucifer's confused look. “John Winchester, to me, is every bit my father as our Father is. As Dean, he was often gone, leaving us alone in less than ideal circumstances as he hunted. The last thing he said to me before he left – the last thing he _always_ said was _protect Sammy_. I had the chance to be a proper older brother. And, looking back, I can see where I've done you wrong. Perhaps... perhaps Father sent the wrong brother to be human?”

Lucifer shook his head. “No. If I was given a loving human family – human father – I would have been more angry with Father when I recovered my memories.”

“Lucifer, what do we do? I can’t let you destroy the humans, but I don’t wanna fight you.”

“I’m... I don’t want to fight you either. But I'm not sure I can forgive Father just yet. He made me the way I am then punished me for it. I... maybe I could see humanity and see what they're about now?”

“Lucifer, you can't have Sam. He's my brother as well,” Michael warned. He meant it too. He remembered every detail of being Dean – he was still Dean in every way that mattered – and he wouldn't allow anyone to hurt his human brother anymore than he’d allow anyone to hurt an angelic brother. 

“I know, Mikey. I know.”


End file.
